T3+Writing

__14/9/11__ __Walt__

S.C. Recall past events Use personal pronouns Has an introduction has a conclusion Is written in past tense Has sequenced order Tells us who, what, where, when, why

Conjunctions to connect time Adjective nouns verbs

Retells past events in the order they occurred Day 1: Tramp, cooked own dinner, night walk, SL Day 2: Swimming, loop track, firelighting, Burma trail, ABL, Art, SL Day 3: Activity day 1, spotlight, possum hunting, swimming, bon fire Day 4: Activity day 2, SL, Camp Concert Day 5: Clean up, Clash of the Camp, Eel, scavenger hunt, HOME __ 22/8/11 __

My Dream House

My dream house would be beside the beach and have amazing views of the water as well as a fully stocked kitchen with 17 chefs. There would be a media room in which there would be x box connect and wii bundle. There would also be a indoor heated pool and private spa resort. My dream house would also have it's own maid service. All the bedrooms would have carpet and a flat screen smart T.V. and bluray player. It would be a house that my whole family could live.   The mystery of the missing water

It was mid-morning in the zoo and Steve the hippo was doing one of his maths problems when Carl the white Rhino came thumping towards him. Carl tried to talk but Steve couldn't' hear him over his breathing. Carl Stopped took a deep breath and said "All the water in my pool is gone and I don't no where it is can you help me find it." Steve stopped looked at him with a strange face and said " I'll do it."

Later that day Steve came over to try and find the missing water. He looked at the the empty pool and it was as dry as a desert then went over to the the pipes they to were dry like sand, He then looked at Carl and said " I need to ask you some questions." Steve took Carl to the question room ( under the umbrella in Steve's habitat. ) and started to question him. " When did you notice that the water was gone?" asked Steve " After I woke up this morning." Replied Carl, Steve then wrote this down in his note book. Steve continued with questioning " Did you hear anything after you noticed that the water was gone?" said Steve. " Yes I heared a Slurp, A spluter then a sound like a cloged pipe.  // Where is your W.A.L.T and your S.C?? What happened to the water?? you are beginning to describe somethings well for example, "came thumping towards him". Other parts to be thought about better, changing sentences around could work more effectively, when he looked at the pool it was described well "dry as a desert" but then you could have said he walked over to the pipes, not a drop of water in sight, rather then repeating yourself. //  // next learning steps. // // Finish off your work! i want to know how it ended! // // Work on including more language features. For example, "said Steve", how did Steve say it? was he angry? upset? //  // Miss Connor //